Hello, my name is Johan and I have my dance band here
I have started the psychological warfare against Johan Elmander, and I sent a few SMS messages to him to air the mood. There he had the nerve to say that they would win 8-0 against us?!? Against us? ha ha, isn’t he gonna play I wonder! No, my dear Johan, on Sunday there will be a whole lot of butt kicking, and you and I will play the lead roles. Period! But Johan is a really nice guy, and he invited me to a christmas dinner. But is he really so nice that everybody says? No, I’m not so sure, I think he is a real clever guy, so I said NO to the dinner out off fear of food poisoning. A Swede has never managed to out smart a Norwegian, and we will not start now either. But there is a little trap he could made use of, and that is that I’m lappish too, and he could have used that to his advantage. But vigilant as I am I saw that coming.
But what do we really know about this Elmander guy?
– He has 13 goals for Sweden, and that calls for great respect! (Although it is ONE goal less than what I have for Norway, and I’m a midfielder! Of course he has just over 50 games, and I have a little over 60. But hey, details smetailes.)
– He was voted Sweden’s best dressed man in 2008. Oh really? Let us hear what his teammates say. Quote Steinsson: his fashion sense is terrible! (True story)
– And I found this in a Swedish magazine: Your dribbling skills is kicking tha ball on one side of the defender and run on the other side!
- Yes, it’s probably my signature trick… but it works since I’m fast and strong.
Are you working on your beach muscles?
- Well, I need to be strong in my whole body so I can keep the oponents on a distance. With that I might get some beach muscles…
How much do you bench?
- Close to 100 kilos I reacon.
And on sunday we will see how the beach boy and his muscles do..
Morten Gamst Pedersen